


Does it Really Have to be You?

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Gratsu [65]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fear, M/M, Promises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22268842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: The war is looming, and with it Zeref and the secret hidden beneath the bandages on Natsu's arm and Gray is scared.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Series: Gratsu [65]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1188718
Comments: 1
Kudos: 63





	Does it Really Have to be You?

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/6sSddAWa5c).

Gray hadn’t expected to be able to sleep at all that night, not with the prospect of war and Zeref, and the promise that he had made to his father looming over his head. Natsu’s warmth had lulled him to sleep though, and even now the heat soothed him even as consciousness tugged at him, pulling him from a painfully happy dream – one that he didn’t dare linger on in the face of what they were going to face. _I want that future. That life._ He couldn’t lie to himself, but he couldn’t let himself dwell on it, because the moment he did, he knew that he would freeze up.

He had already lost too much too Zeref if he lost Natsu too…

He shifted, trying not to rouse the Dragon-slayer who was snoring softly, moving until he was still pressed into that warmth, Natsu’s arm resting over his waist, but able to see his partner’s face. There had been a time when Natsu’s sleeping face had been peaceful, the fire and passion that fuelled his waking moments laid to rest. Now, he looked determined and worried even in sleep, a slight furrow between his eyes. He had changed in their year apart, matured, even if he hid it for the most part. The loss of Igneel and everything else that had happened with Tartarus, and the long months of training and missing the Guild – because Gray knew Natsu, and while his partner hadn’t mentioned it, he knew that Natsu had been lonely even with Happy there – it was all written across his face.

He probably looked the same, Gray mused, even as he cautiously lifted a hand to brush his fingers against Natsu’s cheek. _What else has happened to you Natsu?_ The Dragon-slayer had been unusually circumspect about what he had done during that year, and Gray couldn’t stop his gaze from shifting from Natsu’s face – pleased to notice the furrow had softened a little under his touch – and down to the bandaged arm.

He had been worried the first time he had set eyes on them. He’d always hated it when the Dragon-slayer was injured, even before they had been friends or more. This was a thousand times worse, because he didn’t know what had happened, and he hadn’t been there. Not to protect necessarily, because Natsu was more than capable of taking care of himself, but he hadn’t been there. He didn’t know what had happened. What fresh wounds and scars the Dragon-slayer bore. Then he’d seen Natsu fight with it, and that had helped – because whatever lay hidden beneath those bandages wasn’t hurting him or stopping him from fighting.

Not, that it had stopped him from wanting to know what had happened.

Now, he wished that he knew nothing about it, remembering the chill that had gripped him when Natsu had stood up and told them that he had a weapon against Zeref, holding the bandaged arm up as though it held up all the answers. And maybe it did. The Dragon-slayer had refused to tell them more, and not even Gray had been able to wheedle his way past that refusal. All he knew was that Natsu – and to a slightly lesser extent Happy – believed wholeheartedly that it would work. Gray wished that he could share their belief and that the thought of Natsu having to be the one to face Zeref didn’t fill him with dread, one that he hadn’t even been able to put into words yet.

Part of him was tempted to look now. To see what lay beneath the bandages, and his arm had fallen, drifting towards it before he realised what he was doing, and he froze as he felt the rough material beneath his fingers. _What am I doing?_ He didn’t understand why Natsu wasn’t telling them what the weapon was, especially him, but he knew Natsu – or at least he had, he amended, eyes drifting back to Natsu’s faces and seeing the changes once more. He trusted him. And if Natsu thought that it was best that he kept it secret, then Gray wanted to believe him, and yet…

“What are you doing up?” The sleepy voice made him jump, and he snatched his hand away from the bandaged arm as though burned, just as Natsu shifted against him and opened his eyes, clearly still half asleep.

“Thinking…”

“You always tell me that’s dangerous,” Natsu murmured with a teasing smile.

“Because you’re an idiot,” Gray retorted, but it lacked the usual heat that he would put into those words, and his attempt to match Natsu’s teasing smile fell flat.

That caught the Dragon-slayer’s attention, and he blinked, the sleepiness disappearing as he frowned, the furrow reappearing as he studied the Ice Mage for a long moment, leaving Gray wanting to squirm. After a long moment, Natsu finally reached out and took the hand that had been reaching for his bandages, twining their fingers together. “What were you thinking about?”

“Us,” Gray replied, glancing down at their linked fingers and squeezing lightly, reminding himself that for now at least Natsu was right there with him. “The war.” That hovered in the air between them, because here in the quiet space between them, they couldn’t ignore the fact that people lost wars – and that they had a lot to lose. It was easier to forget at the guild, surrounded by what they had to fight for, and seeing the others’ fear. Now, it was Natsu’s grip that tightened, his expression darkening, before it went worryingly blank at Gray’s next words. “Zeref, and this…”

He hadn’t meant to say it or to draw attention to where his thoughts had been going while Natsu was asleep, but now he shifted, freeing his other hand so that he could reach out and run his fingers lightly over the bandaged arm. He took some comfort from the fact that Natsu didn’t flinch at the touch, but it was ruined by the shuttered expression as Natsu followed the movement, before slowly pulling his hand away, the fingers curling into a fist. “Natsu, I…” He faltered, not sure how to put into words all the thoughts, and fears that were whirling around in his chest. Worried that if he voiced the chill that had gripped him in the guild, then something would change, be lost, and in the end, he settled for asking in a small voice. “Does it really have to be you?”

Natsu winced at the question, the blankness failing, and for a moment there was too much in the Dragon-slayer’s eyes, a storm of emotions that terrified Gray. Natsu had always felt things deeply, something he had teased him about as a child – if only to mask the fact that it had worried him – but this was different. It ran deeper, and it was contained. Natsu had never really shown them his grief about what had happened to Igneel, even when Gray had gone to him that night, hurting over his own loss, the Dragon-slayer had merely lain against him. Quiet and unspeaking. Gray had said more that night, without really saying anything, and now he wondered if that had been a mistake. If he should have pushed harder then when they’d been reunited or even now.

The moment passed before he could act on that thought, Natsu closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath, and when he opened them again, he was calmer. Not blank like before, but focused. Determined. “I made a promise.” It was a death knell on any hope that Gray might have had about pulling him away from that path, not that they’d really had much choice because Natsu always kept his word.

No matter what it might cost him.

Gray moved without a word, pulling his hand free of Natsu’s in favour of pulling the Dragon-slayer into a tight hug, and the fact that Natsu came so willingly, practically melting into him, told him that he wasn’t the only one in need of the contact. They lay like that for several long minutes, clinging to each other as though this might be the last chance they got, and maybe it would be. It was that thought, creeping in amongst the others that made Gray break the silence that had settled over them, his voice muffled against Natsu’s hair. “Will you promise me one thing?” It took a moment, but Natsu nodded slightly, fingers tightening on Gray to show that he was listening. “That you’ll do everything you can to come back to me.”

It wasn’t enough. He wanted to make Natsu promise that he would come back, that he would survive this war and Zeref at any cost, but as much as he wanted to, he knew that it would be unfair. They were both going to be out there in the thick of it, and the weight of his own promise to Silver and the slow shifting of his demonic power at the prospect of the hunt reminded him that he had just as much to do as Natsu. And, so he asked for what he could and prayed that it would be enough, trying not to flinch as the Dragon-slayer pulled back to stare at him with a far too knowing look in his eyes. “As long as you promise me the same.” Gray swallowed, before nodding, leaning in to press a kiss to Natsu’s forehead as he whispered.

“I promise.”


End file.
